Wade Robinson

There was only one problem with being the king of the hobos in a warm, costal city and that was the rain. It came often and unpredictably in great momentous downpours before clearing up instantly or sometimes drizzling all day without any signs of stopping. Rain was a slick and unpredictable foe as slick and unpredictable as its sibling? the ocean. Someday Wade would fight the ocean.

Now Wade had nothing against the rain, in fact he genuinely liked the rain which was why he was walked in it every day. The problem seemed to arrive after he stopped walking in the rain and was now cold and shivering because of the general lack of body heat. Well Wade didn't really hate cold, dampness either but they were on general warning that he might be tepidly disappointed with them if they caused him to cough up blood and die.

Today he was in the park today. He hadn't actually intended to come to the park today but the rain had started and it being exceedingly cold when you were soaked to the bone had lead him to find shelter instead of going to visit his friend. He had intended to visit Ema. Was that crazy to visit her? Probably but it was okay because they had both agreed that he was probably not crazy. He thought they had they had agreed that at least.

Another egg shell rolled off the counter top of the simple kitchenette. Last night Wade had been a wanderer on the path life until he had met a fellow pilgrim. Now Wade was making omelets in his manse. Well they hadn't started off as omelets, he had attempted the secret technique of using inner energy to perfectly cook an egg in the palm of your hand, the failed results were now on the floor.

The mysterious smell of something cooking and the more recognizable smell of things burning floated through the tiny apartment. Light streamed in through the large windows of the apartment as the pilgrim went about his morning routine without bothering Boombox in the master bedroom of the apartment.

The adage "There's no such thing as a free lunch" is often used to invoke the concept that an individual never gets something for nothing. Most college students, low pay faculty and wandering tramps however are willing to sacrifice a few hours to a political agenda if it means getting a free all you can eat buffet. Which is why currently a crowd was milling about in the Metro City University common grounds while being handed literature from the Metro City Vegan Society.

The Metro City Vegan Society being a proud student ran organization looking for a beef free future for the masses. This particular evening was their annual food fair where they invited the community to try the various advances in non-animal product foods ranging from underutilized crops in consumption to new food chemistry approaches to make palatable fake meats. It was a well known fact these events were organized by Camilla Watson a waspish girl with the power of retrograde empathy that only worked through the consumption of animal products.

Wade was moving amongst the stands in stealth mode. Well he wasn't really sneaking but his smell didn't seem all that out of place amongst a crowd of college aged vegans, crust punks, DIY Lifehackers, and professors desperate for a quick meal before going back to grading final projects. Nor did he look so disheveled compared to the various college students emerging from their lairs for a brief respite before returning to their thesis work. The best part about this day though, besides the fact that people were giving him free food, was everyone was so willing to talk even if they did seem very insistent in a specific topic of conversation.

No one was kung-fu fighting. There was absolutely nobody in this city street that was even doing anything close to kung-fu fighting and that was actually the problem. Wade knew exactly what to do if this was a pitched battle for his life or honor. That woman waiting at the cross walk? Diving thrust punch. That man trying to light his cigarette? Floating half hip throw. The man exiting the convenience store? Bear takes the stream.

He was sitting on his heel in front of an aluminum cup which contained a quarter, three dimes, five nickels, and eight pennies. Bucket Brother prepares for winter. Wade was certain of the infinite compassion of his human brethren would provide him the necessary change to purchase a microwave burrito. He was positive it was going to be the best burrito that the universe could provide at the moment.

"Spare some change, my friend? Spare some change for a pilgrim of honesty? How about you sister? No? That's okay! You all have a great day now," he gave a genuine smile to each pedestrian in turn as they walked past. There was something off about the disheveled vagrant to everyone that went past him beyond his lank unwashed hair or manic gleam in his eye. On further introspection they'd come to the same horrifying realization, that derelict of a human being was well and truly happy sitting there on the street begging for change from them. It was a terrible thought.

Codename: None though somebody once suggested PaciFist, they were probably drunk.

Real Name: 'Sifu' Wade Robinson

Affiliation: Renegade

Origin: If asked of his origins then he could tell you of the Obsidian Spires of Agartha. He could in excruciating detail tell of the heartbreaking songs of the tulip fish or the taste of a one hundred year old sun bird. Wade would inform people of his five grueling months in which he was allowed to drink the early morning dew formed on his brow or the deadly fighting styles of the House of Empty Bowls. He'd fill in the details of how the hospital had made a mistake and during emergency surgery and given him an organ donation of a celestial goddess, the Seed of the Supreme Ultimate. That very mystic organ that allowed his mind to wander to ancient Agartha in his sleep to train with mystics masters of both their bodies and souls. How he had come to ancient and mysterious Agartha an outsider and had returned to the conscious world as a master of esoteric secrets.

This entire story would be fascinating and mysterious if the hospital had any record of performing a single surgery on Wade Robinson. It could almost be true if a single telltale sign of surgery was anywhere on his body but there was nothing of the sort. Perhaps something could even have been worked out if he had stayed in the hospital for observation or psychological evaluation instead of disappearing into the night without a trace.

Wade's sister-in-law tells a slightly story of the events that lead Wade to the sacred city of Agartha. In this version, he was a young man unemployed and spending his free time teaching self-defense courses at the community center. Wade had been coming to meet his brother for dinner with goods news when his car had been struck in a T-bone collision. The prognosis, when they finally cut him out of the totaled car, was was not an promising one. Wade had suffered a traumatic brain injury and it was seemed likely that he might never wake up from the injuries. After the first month it seemed like he wasn't going recover anytime soon which made it all the more miraculous when his family received the message that Wade had woken up but had also escaped the hospital even going so far as to disable an orderly who tried to stop him.

These days Wade has been living as a vagrant on the streets of Metro City. A true Agarthan mystic has no need for worldly possessions as the universe will provide for him no matter the circumstances. He mostly spends his days dispensing wisdom that nobody asks for and meditating on the Seed of the Supreme Ultimate. Wade also searches for answers, searching for who was in that car beside him the night of the accident and why he was chosen to be the warrior of the Supreme Ultimate. His brother on the other hand just wants Wade to come home safely, he is offering a reward and everything.

Powers/Abilities/Skills: You know how in all the old kung-fu stories everyone could do all kinds of crazy stuff but when you went to learn taekwondo from that private dojo all you learned is how to flip a guy that was trying to punch you? Wade can do all that crazy stuff and he can flip people trying to punch him.

o Level 1: Wade's hands should be registered as lethal weapons. He is an expert martial artist capable of standing toe to toe with a gifted single opponent or a multitude of less skilled opponents like say for instance hospital orderlies. He is capable of rendering his body insensate to pain through meditation this does nothing to help speed recovery or stabilize sustained damage.

o Level 2: Wade is now a peerless encyclopedia of martial arts styles. He knows the proper techniques to disarm a practitioner of KLAKKLAK KLAKKLAKKLAK and the three most effective ways to grapple a man in zero gravity. He has begun to master the esoteric secrets of the multitude of martial styles always brag about lightening your body to run on water or the much more esoteric discipline of not being ripped apart by hempen ropes dragged by three raging bulls (does not work with silk rope), lets not even get into Shaolin Iron Crotch.

o Level 3: Wade's mastery of martial techniques has started to get weird, he claims all of the techniques are completely learnable but most seem to require exacting amounts of energy that normal people don't have. Ghost Devouring Palm, Wind God Kick, Guilt Devours the Dragon, and even the feared KLAK KLAKKLAAAAK. These are the techniques that kung-fu movies need CGI or big budgets to pull off. They are for all intents and purposes? punch magic. His esoteric disciplines have increased in power allowing him to perform incredible techniques such as running on clouds.

o Level 4: Some people DO martial arts or PRACTICE martial arts maybe even AUTHORITIES on martial arts. Wade IS martial arts. He invents and forgets* techniques as strange and varied as they are powerful. The feared ten league punch which defies space and time to punch the target precisely 10 leagues** or perhaps the Human Dynamo Converter which converts the human body into electricity? vengeful KUNG-FU electricity! Dim Mak? More like Done That where That is pronounced in such a way as to rhyme with Mak. In addition, Wade doesn't seem to visibly age anymore it is unknown if this is because of his inner energy perfection or he just beat up his aging process.

* He hasn't actually forgotten a technique yet but he posits that the human spirit only has so much room for that kind of thing.
** It actually is more like 9.7391 leagues and all targets end up in this cute little bed and breakfast Wade spent a weekend in once.

Weaknesses: Silly as it may sound the incredible martial accomplishments of ancient and mighty Agartha never included a single technique to defend against psychic invasion. If you couple this with the relatively fragile mentality of Wade, then it is a recipe for disaster. To make matters worse? The damn powers don't even work if you ever put doubt in them.

Equipment: I can tell you what he doesn't have? money.

Appearance:

o Civilian: Wade stands a mighty 5'6'' and is an uncomfortably gaunt looking man. His body is mostly chorded muscle which does nothing to make him look any less unsettling. Shaggy black hair, light body hair, green eyes, delicate facial features. His current outfit consists of a navy blue snorkel parka and a pair of chinos that he received from some very nice people at the local shelter.

o Costumed: None though he has thought about getting the materials together to sew the ceremonial costume of an Agarthan champion. All that martial arts training has given him excellent needle work.

Team (if applicable): Nobody.

Miscellaneous:
o He never wears shoes something about how they alter the flow of healthy energies within the human body.
o There is a sizable reward for information about Wade's current whereabouts. Not enough to retire on but enough to be considered quite a windfall to most people in the socioeconomic middle class.