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Get Off My Lawn

Driver Moth

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#1 Finley McTaggart

Finley McTaggart

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Posted 22 September 2014 - 11:27 PM

Even thought Taggart Transcontinental was open for business 24/7, its big boss was not. Nor was he willing to experiment with drugs and chemical enhancement to get that way. But he never let a day go by when he didn't come into the main depot for at least a few hours, even on his supposed days off; not to mention how he often toured around his smaller holdings about the city, which had slowly and quietly expanded over the past year or so. Soon, Tag was fond of promising himself, he really would be Transcontinental; and then, International!

 

But for now, he'd been up since six and it was nearly seven, so he was getting ready to leave. "I'm takin' off, Eddie," he called, standing up and stretching. He couldn't help but crack a huge yawn as he trudged for the coffee machine, and filled up his travel mug with straight black joe.

 

"Dammit Tag, why ya gotta slack off so damn much," Eddie replied genially, yawning a bit himself. He was in for the night shift, but he had to throw shit at his boss anyway.

 

Finley just tossed the finger at his subordinate and walked out to his car, the gleaming black Estoque he'd acquired recently. Simply touching it never failed to energize him, but tonight even he couldn't keep his eyes open. So he did what he rarely did:

 

He set the awesome vehicle on autopilot, tilted the seat back and slipped into a cat nap as the car drove itself home. The sensors would wake him up if someone or something important was picked up.


"Sure we do things, why th' hell not? I know I'm gonna die, eventually, an' I ain't gonna sit 'n take it like a chump. I'm gonna go out like a Viking, machine guns in each 'and takin' th' bad guys with me. It'll be awesome, it'll make th' evenin' news, an' maybe when me soul goes up to wherever me ol' mates'll lookit me like I didn' fuck up by survivin' when they didn't."

Meet the man!

Meet his sister!

#2 Recchnimoth

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Posted 23 September 2014 - 02:33 AM

And when Finley awoke, the collision sensors in the car were going off and a young boy with a gaunt frame was peeling himself off of the hood with difficulty.

 

"What the hell, man?!" the young man demanded, yelling loud enough to be heard through the windows.  He turned a face with dark, sharply angular features on McTaggart's through the windshield.  "You ran right into me!"  He managed to prop himself up on one hand, shakily, his ratty fall of black hair covering his face for a moment before being jerked aside with an annoyed flick of his neck. To go with the lad's lank hair and dirty-smeared face, he was wearing a pair of dirty, torn jeans and a t-shirt of no particular color.

 

He sank back across the hood, spread-eagled on his back, and groaned piteously.



#3 Finley McTaggart

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Posted 24 September 2014 - 01:30 AM

Of course, the Estoque had enough manners to roll to a graceful stop once the kid bounced atop its hood, and Finley was promptly beeped into wakefulness by the sensors. He would have woken up anyway, though, once the vehicle began slowing down.

 

"Mrf," the Scotsman muttered, blinking his eyes open and rubbing at them. Hadn't hardly been a minute, had it? Who was this punk?

 

"Didn' run nuffin' over," he insisted, sticking his head out the open window at peering at his dusty new passenger. "'ho 'na 'ell 're ye 'n wha' yer doin' m' car?"

 

One hand already held a large revolver, back within the vehicle. No sense taking chances, right?


"Sure we do things, why th' hell not? I know I'm gonna die, eventually, an' I ain't gonna sit 'n take it like a chump. I'm gonna go out like a Viking, machine guns in each 'and takin' th' bad guys with me. It'll be awesome, it'll make th' evenin' news, an' maybe when me soul goes up to wherever me ol' mates'll lookit me like I didn' fuck up by survivin' when they didn't."

Meet the man!

Meet his sister!

#4 Recchnimoth

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Posted 24 September 2014 - 03:22 AM

"I was walking across the fuckin' street, and you fuckin' hit me with your fuckin' car! Who the hell are you, and who are you gonna call and have check my broken bones 'n' shit?"  He glared over at Finley, and took him in for a moment.  "You...you're half asleep! You probably fell asleep at the wheel! I'm gonna call in every lawyer in town and they're gonna put you in prison for a hundred thousand goddamn years!"
 
Galvanized by this, he tumbled himself off the hood, wincing and clutching at his hip when his feet hit the pavement.  "Sonofa..."

#5 Finley McTaggart

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Posted 24 September 2014 - 08:08 PM

Broken bones, eh. Yeah right; maybe a few sprains, but if Tag was any judge, no one with broken anything could just fall off the hood of a car that way and just lie there muttering.

 

"I ain't callin' nobody," Tag began, climbing out of the car reluctantly. He left the pistol inside; the car itself would serve as weapon enough if need be. "An' you bes' be 'splainin' yerself, pally. Wha'cha doin' jaywalkin' anyways? 'Specially s' close t' me shop!" Clearly this kid wasn't long in Metro City, if he didn't know about Taggart Transcontinental. Which kind of annoyed Tag, considering how much he'd spent on advertising and getting word out.


"Sure we do things, why th' hell not? I know I'm gonna die, eventually, an' I ain't gonna sit 'n take it like a chump. I'm gonna go out like a Viking, machine guns in each 'and takin' th' bad guys with me. It'll be awesome, it'll make th' evenin' news, an' maybe when me soul goes up to wherever me ol' mates'll lookit me like I didn' fuck up by survivin' when they didn't."

Meet the man!

Meet his sister!

#6 Recchnimoth

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Posted 24 September 2014 - 08:35 PM

"Look where your fucking car is!" the youth howled, pointing at the street. Sure enough, there was a crosswalk clearly marked there. He couldn't keep the triumph out of his voice as he announced, "Right in a crosswalk. Fuckin' A, they're gonna imprison your descendants."

By this point, other motorists were beeping disgruntledly and swerving around Finley's Estoque on their way to dinner or wherever they were headed.

#7 Finley McTaggart

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Posted 25 September 2014 - 01:16 AM

In a distracted fashion, Tag waved his car out of the road, and obediently it pulled off and into an alleyway, no longer blocking the main road. He had indeed looked at where his car had been, and he had to wonder what the hell had happened. The car usually drove itself just fine; it had never run anyone over that didn't deserve to be ran over. So either this idiot kid was playing him, or there was something wrong with his car, with his driving.

 

He was of course inclined to believe the former, since his driving was perfect in all ways. Even when half asleep! There was no way he could keep up with the things he kept up with all the time he drove at Ludicrous SpeedTM if he had to pay attention to every last detail and rely on conscious reaction alone.

 

Anyway, with the car out of the way, he was free to focus on the punk. "They're not imprisoning anyone, kid. I had the right of way; my car knows when to stop and let people go by." One could always tell when Tag meant business because he stopped talking like a fresh-off-the-boat nimrod. "So I have to assume you jumped out in front of me deliberately. You're still not that badly hurt, I wasn't going that fast at all. Not through an intersection."

 

By this point he was standing over Moth, hands on his hips, an unreadable expression on his face. "So how about you stand up and explain yourself, pally? I don't know who you are; do you know who I am?"


"Sure we do things, why th' hell not? I know I'm gonna die, eventually, an' I ain't gonna sit 'n take it like a chump. I'm gonna go out like a Viking, machine guns in each 'and takin' th' bad guys with me. It'll be awesome, it'll make th' evenin' news, an' maybe when me soul goes up to wherever me ol' mates'll lookit me like I didn' fuck up by survivin' when they didn't."

Meet the man!

Meet his sister!

#8 Recchnimoth

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Posted 25 September 2014 - 03:10 AM

"Arright, arright," the kid said, throwing up his hands defensively.  He started backing away, no longer favoring his "good" leg.  "If you're gonna change accents on me, I oughta drop the shit afore it gets bad for me," he said, ruefully.  "I get that.  Yeah, I saw you were passed out an' had the autodriver on.  You're runnin' KA, which is the most common autodriver set on the road."  He was speaking faster and faster.  "Current version a' KA's got a bug in it - hit up two flashlights with red cellophane an' shine 'em right into the sensors and it'll convince your car it's waiting in traffic an' it won't let it respond to anything else. Do it to a sleeping driver, car comes to a quiet halt, you jump on the hood and set off all the collision alarms.  Honest, didn't know who you was gonna be, Mr. McTaggart.  Just thought you were some tourist asshole in a nice car."



#9 Finley McTaggart

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Posted 25 September 2014 - 03:22 AM

Ah, okay. Just a coincidence, then. Maybe. "Oughta get 'at fixed," he said to himself, staring thoughtfully off into the distance. "Hm... well, no 'arm done, I s'ppose." He turned that thoughtful gaze back toward Moth. "Ya sound like an 'acker, boyo. Think ye c'n fix me car? I'll pay ya."


"Sure we do things, why th' hell not? I know I'm gonna die, eventually, an' I ain't gonna sit 'n take it like a chump. I'm gonna go out like a Viking, machine guns in each 'and takin' th' bad guys with me. It'll be awesome, it'll make th' evenin' news, an' maybe when me soul goes up to wherever me ol' mates'll lookit me like I didn' fuck up by survivin' when they didn't."

Meet the man!

Meet his sister!

#10 Recchnimoth

Recchnimoth

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Posted 25 September 2014 - 04:29 AM

"Fix it?" the kid echoed, brightening.  The ridiculous Scottish accent was back - that was a good sign, wasn't it? "Oh, yeah, I can fix it. I'll do your whole fleet, any of 'em as is runnin' KA. Get 'em set up with Sidesaddle, that's the good shit. Not as fancy-lookin' as KA, but it's open-source an' every bit as fast. Don't gotta pay for each firmware upgrade, neither. It just takes some...coaxin' to get it to work with certain older cars set up for older autodrivers. I'm good at that kinda coaxin', real good."

 

Whadd'ya know, this might actually be easy.

 

When did that ever happen?

 

"Only problem is, we...gotta liberate my rig, which is being held hostage-like, y'see?  Fella who thinks I owe 'im money 'cuz of a misunderstanding. Case of mistaken identity. Sorta thing."



#11 Finley McTaggart

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Posted 26 September 2014 - 12:32 AM

"This ain't no older car," Tag remarked, considering the kid's words. New autodrive software was a nifty thing, since apparently what he had in now was flawed.

 

He couldn't tolerate flaws in his car.

 

"This... fella a' yers," he went on. "Why would 'e think yer owin' him anythin', hm? What'sis misun'erstandin' all 'bout?"


"Sure we do things, why th' hell not? I know I'm gonna die, eventually, an' I ain't gonna sit 'n take it like a chump. I'm gonna go out like a Viking, machine guns in each 'and takin' th' bad guys with me. It'll be awesome, it'll make th' evenin' news, an' maybe when me soul goes up to wherever me ol' mates'll lookit me like I didn' fuck up by survivin' when they didn't."

Meet the man!

Meet his sister!





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